Should A Woman Change Her Last Name After Marriage

Our names lie at the heart of our identity. But in United kingdom of great britain and northern ireland nearly all married women – most 90% in a 2016 survey – abandon their original surname and have their husband's.

The survey found that even most of the youngest married women – those aged 18–34 – chose to do so. Some women, incorrectly, even imagine information technology is a legal requirement. Well-nigh countries in western Europe and the US follow the same pattern.

This change in women's identity, by taking a husband'south name, has emerged from patriarchal history where wives had no surname except "wife of X". The wife was the husband'south possession and right up to the late 19th-century, women in England ceded all holding and parental rights to husbands on marriage.

So how has a exercise born out of women's subordination to men remained and then entrenched in an age of women's emancipation?

To sympathise this, in our research nosotros interviewed shortly to exist, or recently married, men and women in England and Norway. Norway makes an interesting comparison as although information technology is regularly ranked among the meridian four countries in the world for gender equality, about Norwegian wives still accept their husband's name.

Patriarchy and resistance

We constitute that patriarchal power has not gone away. In England, for example, some husbands made union conditional on their wives taking their proper noun. Mandy gives a striking case:

I actually didn't desire to change my name only … he said if that hadn't changed at that place would take been no indicate getting married … he said the nuptials would mean naught.

More often, male person preeminence in names was just taken for granted. English women oft called upon tradition: "it'southward traditional and conventional" (Eleanor), or felt that name change was "the right matter to do" (Lucy). For Jess the significant of her wedding was "that I'll take my partner'south surname and stand up by my vows".

Nosotros institute though that such views were much less common in Norway – where well-nigh women keep their own proper name as a secondary, center, surname to preserve their ain identity.

For some English women, taking the husband's name was not only assumed and unquestioned, it was eagerly awaited. As Abigail put information technology, "I'm so looking forrard to existence a wife and having my surname changed". Adele thought "it's nice to be able to say 'husband' and take someone else's proper noun and call yourself 'Mrs'".

That information technology is he who even so asks she is outdated and problematic. YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV/Shutterstock

The flip side of patriarchal power was that some women were resistant to losing their identity. As Rebecca explained:

I would like to go along my own name … I need to be me and I wouldn't want to lose who I am.

In Norway Caroline felt the aforementioned:

I am who I am, then I have no need to change my name.

Two Norwegian women nosotros spoke with likewise raised explicit feminist objections. Anna felt that name change "says a lot nigh the patriarchal culture". While Oda criticised women for not thinking about what a name means and men for the "weird" exercise of imposing their names on other people.

The 'good family'

Many name changers acted between these two poles of male power and women'south resistance. Merely it seems taking the husband's name is also seen as being a good way to show others this is a "proficient family". As Claire says "I would like [others] to know that nosotros were a family and I remember names is quite a good fashion of doing that".

In both countries, nosotros establish a common surname symbolising the family as a unit was primarily associated with having children. Eirin in Norway had been struggling between "the feminist me" and her married man who wanted her to take his name – though she felt this was "not urgent, at least non until you accept children".

Many couples study wanting everyone in the family to have the same surname. Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Supposedly, unlike parental names would be confusing. One woman we spoke to felt that "the kids won't know whether they're coming or going". Though prove suggests children are not at all dislocated about who'southward in their family, whatsoever surname they might have. Rather information technology seem nonconformity creates adult discomfort.

Some English women also felt that not changing your name indicated less delivery to the marriage – as Zoe explains:

I recollect if you've kept your name information technology'south kind of like maxim I'g not really that committed to you.

This feeling was not directly expressed by the Norwegian couples – probably because of the widespread do of using the wife's surname equally a secondary, heart, family name.

Not the norm

Clearly so, showing others you are a "good family unit" is not a seamless, uncontested process. The display needs validation by others – and this makes adopting the husband's name all the more likely.

Indeed, our study found the possibility of a joint proper noun or using the women'due south name was rarely considered among English couples. And so although some women may be actively involved in choosing their marital name, taking the human's name still remains the norm.